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One Small Gesture Of Kindness

A mother, 70, has a son with cerebral palsy.  He is now 40 years old.  The mother is small and the son is not.  For years the mother has lifted her son from his wheelchair to the toilet, and back again.  I ask her to show me how she lifts her son up. The mother moves well. She has to.

I notice an almost invisible gesture she makes just before she begins the trying task of picking up her son. She quickly strokes the right side of her head, moving her thick, gray streaked hair back behind her ear.  I ask her to pause for a moment.  I ask her if she felt the movement she just made.  The mother says, “No, I didn’t do anything yet.”  I said, “Yes you did.” I tell her what she did. I ask her to do it again, very slowly, consciously.  She does.  I ask her to do it again, and then again.  I ask her to continue, but to do it now as if her mother were brushing her hair.  She continues. Soon the mother begins to cry.

I say, “Okay, go and lift up your son.” She stops. She doesn’t move, doesn’t speak. I can wait. Then the mother says, “I am too old to do this by myself.  I need help.”  She turns to her younger son, who is in the room, and asks him if he wouldn’t mind helping her.  He is happy to do it for his mom, and for his brother.

The mother stands there watching her two boys.

Written by Bruce Fertman

Bruce brings 60 years of study as a movement artist and educator to his work having trained in gymnastics, modern dance, ballet, contact improvisation, the Alexander Technique, Tai Chi Chu’an, Aikido, Chanoyu, (Japanese Tea Ceremony), Argentine Tango, and Kyudo (Zen Archery). For the past 30 years, Bruce has been helping people experience the interconnectedness of physical and spiritual life. He founded the Alexander Alliance in 1982 and Grace of Sense in 2019, his online community-school. Author of Teaching by Hand, Learning by Heart, and of The Way In ~ The Way Out, Bruce is currently co-authoring a book with Michael Gelb for New World Library entitled, Walk – How to Discover Comfort, Vitality, and Inspiration in Every Step.
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